Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
a search helicopter?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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