That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
