He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
