Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
When did angry sex become our thing?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
