I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
