the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Randomize
