I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
