it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it glows. i had to have it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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