im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
