just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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