hotel room ftw
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
