Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
sex in a hospital.. check
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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