carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she looked like the before picture.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
