I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
