ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
