a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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