yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
