I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
