Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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