Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
