if you like me you must not know who I am
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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