i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
