So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
