My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
