It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
