On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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