Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
