We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
