I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
