when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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