I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He had one of those small greek statue penises
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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