Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Randomize
