How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
