A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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