can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
