Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
