"it" just moved
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Randomize
