This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
