garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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