fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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