I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
