I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
