I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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