my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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