I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
