Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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