did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
