playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
