Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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