he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
